I recently had cause to have medical screening done after having suffered a health challenge that caused me to be admitted in the hospital. I had to wait about two days for the results. Only someone who has taken such tests can understand the kind of anxiety I felt while waiting. I felt fine and there was nothing wrong with me – or was there? Every symptom and discomfort played itself over and over in my mind. It really got me thinking about self examination and what it should mean to me. Often I am so focused on what is on the outside and what I can immediately fix that I often ignore the invisible and what’s inside. But the real truth is that the invisible gives birth to the visible just as invisible – to the naked eye – germs and stuff affect the visible things that like the symptoms of the illness that I felt. I was so concerned about the results of a test which I took because I saw some symptoms but am I just as concerned when I notice some things in my life and need to do evaluation? Am I as concerned about my motives and thoughts as I am about my health? I am sure health is important but also just as important is the state of my heart – my motives and whys, my driving factors and choices. It is just as important to search within to find out what has gone wrong as it is to deal with symptoms and things that go wrong on the outside. It is easy to ignore the vital area of screening with a wave of the hand and the saying ‘No use crying over spilt milk’ but the oh-so-important aspect of screening cannot be ignored in the process of growing up.
Sure, I could go on and on without once thinking back on what I’ve done and how it’s affected me but a wise man once said that someone who doesn’t remember the past is condemned to repeat it. Repeating the past is not a sign of wisdom and certainly not of growing up. I want to grow up and i’ll do what needs to be done.