Power in Commitment

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
– C. S. Lewis

This quote made me smile at first with images of flying eggs going through my mind as I read it. Then I thought – isn’t it a regular thing to see people who have decided to be ‘ordinary, decent eggs’? Isn’t it common to see people who have decided to stay in the middle and coast along like fallen blades of grass in a puddle? So rare it is, especially in these times, to see a person who has decided to go somewhere and is doing all to get there – who has decided to live in pursuit of a purpose and is going all out to see it become. It is no surprise that people take notice when someone comes along who is sure of what they want and begins doing all to get there. That kind of commitment is not borne of mere decisions taken on the spur of the moment. Testimonies to this fact are the failed new year resolutions and broken promises that abound. The kind of lasting commitment that is needed is borne of convictions.

A conviction, according to my friend – the Oxford Advanced Learners’ dictionary, is the feeling or appearance of believing something strongly and being sure about it. Whoa! That certainly puts to the test the things we have termed convictions and asks the question…were we sure of what we believed or did it merely suit the convenience of the moment? Was the belief strong or did it survive only because of the emotion of the moment? I firmly believe that the convictions which bring lasting commitment are definite and must provoke a change. It’s easy being an egg – all warm and safe – but how will you know if u are a lark meant to sing or an eagle meant to soar if there’s no commitment to hatch from the egg. That commitment can only be borne of a conviction that it must be better. This isn’t about wishes and desires – none of that. They are only fuel for the commitment that must come before. It is about a true, unshakeable belief in something better and a willingness to work towards it.

Commitment brings with it power in the form of focus. The power it brings is its own fuel and its reward. But the bottom line is that commitment must begin with a step – being convinced beyond a shadow of doubt of what we need to do. We all know the power of focusing the rays of the sun with a lens on a sheet of paper – it sets it on fire. So it is with any life that is focused. It lights whatever it comes into contact with.

The power in commitment is one that makes life all the more worth living and makes us more truly ourselves than we could ever be otherwise. The commitment to hatch is what we are here to live out.

Satisfaction of the Soul.

No, I am not becoming a mystic.

I borrow the title from a book by the same name written by Rev. Jackie E. McCullough. The title stayed with me the day I saw it and I could never get it off my mind since then. It’s been about two years now since I saw the book and it raised some questions that I have searched deeply for answers to.

The main question that first came was ‘what does she mean by that? How could a soul possibly be satisfied?’ After all I have been taught that satisfaction is a bad thing. But there is a distinction I find – it is complacency (self-satisfaction) which is the lazy feeling you get when you don’t want to improve any more that is bad but satisfaction brings peace to you. And peace in these times I live in ain’t a bad deal. I then wondered what satisfaction would mean to me. It surprised me that I thought of achievements and tangibles as the things that would bring satisfaction. But would they satisfy my soul? … Permanently?  …that’s a tough one.

I believe that the source of satisfaction of the soul would be – in one word – Validation. Why do I want things and want to achieve goals? Why do I seek after people to love and accept me?  Because deep down inside I want to be told that I’m worth it. Validation is so important because it answers the question of existence. It answers the question of worth. But the need for validation is not bad or wrong. Just human. The ways to seek it, however, is another story. So seeking after things or people because I somehow believe that they will make me matter or make me important doesn’t work because I see how relationships sour or change dimension all too soon, the novelty of achievements wears off or someone does something better, the things I possess become outdated or even damaged. Then what?

I want to pursue this validation thing from another angle. What if I didn’t look outside to be validated? What if I valued myself simply because I was human? I believe that one of the most powerful things that I could do for myself would be to derive my value from the mere fact of my existence – a creature of God. Then I would cast the impression of my value on things that I did or had. They would be important simply because I did them. This would make me do more than I ever thought possible. I am not advocating arrogance but simply an admission of the intrinsic worth that is in each human. I believe that would be a more productive and peaceful way of life for me. It would answer the question of my existence in a way that would always be relevant. This is – I believe – the path to true satisfaction of the soul. No, it’s not easy. Not in this environment where I always get the suggestions that I need this or that and if I don’t have it I am incomplete in some way. But I have determined to regulate my internal atmosphere. I have decided to be worth it – whether or not I win any honours. Although I would like to. Lol

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
C. S. Lewis